Here are some actual classified ads that were gleaned from U.S. newspapers.
- Illiterate? Write today for help.
- Auto Repair Service. Try us once, and you'll never go anywhere again.
- Dog for sale. Eats anything and is fond of children.
- Stock up and Save. Limit one per customer.
- Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
- Three-year-old teacher needed for preschool.. Experience preferred.
- Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Salary and Blue Cross.
- We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
- Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
- Vacation special: Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts.
- Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
- We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.
- Man, honest, will take anything.
- Used Cars: Why go anywhere to be cheated? Come here first.
- Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply tops!
- And now, the Superstore -- unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
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