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DATE: present day TO: All employees FROM: Headquarters SUJECT: Excessive Absences Due to the excessive number of absences, the following rules and procedures will be put into effect as of this date: SICKNESS: No excuse - we will no longer accept your doctors statement, as proof, as we believe if'you are able to get to the doctor, you are able to come to work. DEATH: (other than your own) This is no excuse. There is nothing you can do for them and we are sure that someone with a lesser position can attend to the arrangements. LEAVE OF ABSENCE: (for an operation) We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage any thoughts that you need an operation, as we believe as long as you are an employee here you will need all of whatever you have and you should NOT consider having anything removed We hired you as you are and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for. DEATH: (your Own) This will be accepted as an excuse, BUT, we would like a two week notice as we feel it is your duty to teach someone else your job. Thank you for your cooperation. Jokes Index Click to return to the homepage. |