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Bumper Stickers Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine I love cats ... they taste just like chicken Out of my mind ... back in five minutes Cover me. I'm changing lanes As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools Laugh alone, and the world thinks yourle an idiot Sometimes I wake up Grumpy ... other times I let him sleep I want to die in my sleep like my Grandpa did ... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car Jesus died for my sins and all I got was this lousy T-shirt The gene pool could use a little chlorine I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot It is as bad as you think, and they are out to get you When you do a good deed, get a receipt, just in case heaven is like the IRS. Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips. Wink, I'll do the rest I took an IQ test and the results were negative Okay, who stopped payment on my reality check? If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat? Time is the best teacher, unfortunately, it kills all it's students It's lonely at the top, but you eat better Forget about world peace, visualize using your turn signals Warning, dates in calendar are closer than they appear Give me ambiguity, or give me something else We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse Make it idiot proof, and someone will make a better idiot He who laughs last thinks slowest Always remember you are UNIQUE, just like EVERYONE else Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math Friends help you move. REAL friends help you move bodies Very funny Scotty! Now beam down my pants! PURITANISM: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, is happy CONSCIOUSNESS: That annoying time between naps I didn't tri in schol, butt I souport publik edukashion We are Microsoft! Resistance is futile! You will be assimilated! Be nice to your kids. They'll be the ones choosing your nursing home There are 3 kinds of people. Those who can count, and those who can't Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?' Diplomacy is the art of saying 'nice doggy' ... till you can find a rock Jokes Index Click to return to the homepage.